如果有一天你能到我的心里去, 你一定会流泪因为里面全是你给的伤。如果有一天我能到你心里去,我也一定会流泪因为里面全是你的无所谓。我们的认识本来就是一个错误,不是吗?
如果,爱上一个人是一瞬间,和一个人相处需要一段时间,而忘记一个入却需要一生的时间。
如果能回到从前我会选择不认识你不是我后悔,是我不能面对没有你的结局。分手后不可以做朋友,因为彼此伤害过,不可以做敌人,因为彼此深爱过。所以我们成为了最熟悉的陌生人。
如果有一天你能到我的心里去, 你一定会流泪因为里面全是你给的伤。如果有一天我能到你心里去,我也一定会流泪因为里面全是你的无所谓。我们的认识本来就是一个错误,不是吗?
如果,爱上一个人是一瞬间,和一个人相处需要一段时间,而忘记一个入却需要一生的时间。
如果能回到从前我会选择不认识你不是我后悔,是我不能面对没有你的结局。分手后不可以做朋友,因为彼此伤害过,不可以做敌人,因为彼此深爱过。所以我们成为了最熟悉的陌生人。
My long awaited campaign, Winter of Dongbei, my winter tour, which I had postponed a year ago because of health reason. This was my third winter of my life and second time seeing snow flakes falling from the heavenly sky.
I spent my winter tour in this town called Heihe (黑河) in the province of Heilongjiang (黑龙江). This town was located north of Heilongjiang, one of the border-crossing town between Russian and Chinese.
I set off my journey from Hongkong to Shanghai to transit to Haerbin (哈儿滨). A friend of mine knew that I was in the region contacted me and I took a six hours train to Nanjing, north from Shanghai, to meet up with her.
I visited Nanjing for four days and left for Harebin. The train took about 28 hours to reach Harerbin. I spent a night in the city and left for Hegang (鹤岗) to meet some friends. I spent two nights in here before I went to my final destination, Heihe.
Heihe was a small isolated town. Transport system to the town was not comprehensive. It took me quite a while travelling to a few towns to get the right stations that take me to Heihe. God is good. I managed to travel smoothly and less waiting time during transit. Travel to places like these and in an unpredicted weather, if you missed the transport, you might wait for another day or two.
Many people asked me why was I doing in such a remote condition. Three reasons, I want to ski, I want to learn Russian as my forth language and my annual personal retreat.
I cancelled my skiing trip because i felt over slippery ice on the roads consecutively for three days. The third fall really put my body in a very bad physical condition. My buttock was bleeding and my waists was hurt badly. In fact I rested three days before i moved again.
I had signed up for my Russian language class and hope to start blogging in Russian soon.
Most important of all for this winter tour was my personal retreat. Last year retreat I had charted my next decade plan, (The World Is my Home). This retreat was to evaluate on my vision and goals. Living in solitude then I could reflect upon my life, refocused on my vision if i had deviated. Whatever was out of alignment, I would tune it back, just like tuning my guitar strings.
On another Pearl River Delta tour, this autumn. It was another tiring tour travelling from town to town to finish my unfinished agenda again. This trip was no different from my summer tour except I have a smoother trip and made a lot of new friends.
However I overspent and blew my budget for the autumn tour but it was well spent.
Now back to Zhuhai and took a rest and energised myself for the next embarkment.
GF: Dear, do you know what is this call?
ME: Bean loh!
GF: Ya! What kind of bean?
ME: Err… big red bean?
GF: No! Guess again?
ME: Arr… I don’t know.
GF: Is call, kidney bean, dear.
That was how I knew this was called kidney bean. When I dated her, she loved to eat kidney beans. When we went for salad buffet, we would fill our stomach with a big bowl of it. That was how I began to like to eat kidney bean.
I got myself a big spoonful of the bean and while I was eating it, my heart suddenly felt lonely, wanted to cry and I thought of her again. I thought of the joy we shared together eating the beans, forked one bean at a time feeding one another. This is our love recipes with kidney beans.
“Hello! Hello! Is that you Dan Dan“ talking over my mobile phone.
After a short silent came the reply “I’m Dan Dan’s sister.” Silent again. “She won’t be calling you any more.”
“What happen? Why?” I asked anxiously. “We suppose to meet the last time and she suddenly disappear. Now is past 3 weeks.”
Her sister said in a soft restrained tone, “”She won’t be calling you any more, not any more in the future.”
“Why? Why? What have I done wrong?” I questioned her impatiently.
“She is dying.”
Then I remembered…
Two months ago, I got to know Dan Dan through our friend, Lingling. Lingling lost her mobile and was sharing Dan Dan’s until she got herself a new one. Then one late night I woke up by a SMS sent from Dan Dan’s mobile saying “I’m unhappy”. I called and to my surprise, the SMS was sent by Dan Dan herself. In my sleepiness, I tele with Dan Dan and chat to our hearts content. We talked about everything we could find under the sun. We never met but conversed over the phone or instant messaging over QQ. She poured out her unhappiness on me. I consoled her and cheered her up, trying to make her feel good again. In return, she listened to my life complaints.
After two months of tele-conversation, we finally met when I passed by her town. We went shopping and dinning. Although was our first time meeting each other, we felt like we knew each other for years. After dinner, we went drinking in a bar. We were so passionate with each other, I finally took the initiative to kiss her. I smooched her upper lip then lower, kissed again and frenched her. It was the best sensual kiss I ever frenched since I broke up with my ex three years ago.
This three seconds french led us back to my hotel, naked. We continued chatting. We had so much to share that we wished we could stop the time and never see day break because I would be gone. Our night were solemn but not speechless. It was a short night but we felt like eternal. While I was telling her stories, she pacelessly motioned into my embrace and rested on my shoulder.
Her soft silky hair lightly brushed over my skin, signalling me she wanted to be loved, to be cared just like a sparrow had found a nest to rest. She tilted up her head and looked into my eyes, a gesture to me she wanted to be touched. The rhythm of her heartbeats proposed to me she wanted it now.
I gave her the affirmation by taking a deep breath and kissed her inch by inch backward to peck her ear. I unwrapped the towel to uncover her naked body. After giving her a firm rub on her belly, I finger-walked from her belly button to her breast and cup it fully in my palm. Then I circled her breast with my index finger, slowly, softly, sensually. Circling countlessly, her body arched and she snuggled tightly to me. By then I was necking her and I could hear her breathing, hard and deep.
I nibbled inch by inch, lips by lips southward to replace my finger on her breast. Then I stopped to hear her heartbeat pounding in excitement. Moving south again, I exhaled my warm breath on her nipple. My fingers were now positioning outside her restricted lips. It was wet and slippery and any slight movement from my finger, I could hear her moan lightly.
I paused, I thought, I stopped, because I could not forget the last love I once had.
I caressed her back to give her my passionate affection. We started talking again, joking, complaining and laughing happily. Suddenly she revealed to me that she was about to die. She had cancer. I did not take it seriously, although I saw tears in her eyes. We talked about her finally days and making mockery out of it.
I felt helpless and despaired when I knew she was gone but I did not cry. Maybe, perhaps, because I had given my last teardrops to my last love. I felt I could do something meaningful for her when she was alive.
Life is precious and fragile. We only live once, so give your best shot.
I do not believe in palm-reading but recently, i had two friends read my palm and tell me about my love life. They both agreed that I will have broken marriage, third parties, more than two soul mates, etc. Very sad to hear such comments, nevertheless it is true.
One of them said, if I want to have a good marriage, I should get married after 35.
Interestingly, I know myself I am not a casanova but saying me to have more than 2 soul mates really makes me wonder, am I a lousy lover or a playboy? Or is just me, no luck with girls? Well, time will tell.
But the comforting statement from reading my palm and i agree to it, I am a devoted lover. Where is the love?
This month April, marks two years of my break up with my 6-year old spouse. I still miss her very much. i should say I still love her as much as before. I have been crying recently again. But today I really cry my heart out. I don’t know why may be because this is the month we break off.
My whole life until now, one thing I regret. That is, not being able to be with her forever.
The legacy she left for me are fond memories of us together. I will treasure all these memories as long as i remember.
It is really my honour knowing her. I really enjoy her companionship and really thank her from the soul of my heart for being my soulmate all these years.
I am sorry to disappoint you in one way or another. I am sorry we are separated. My dear Shufen I want to tell you this, many men can replace me but no one can replace you. You will always have a room in my heart. I should stop now, else I gonna break down again.