With the availability of many ready-to-use, just-with-a-click-of-a-button web templates and online publishing sites, creating a magnificently annoying website is becoming harder than ever. So to stop this dying art, some experts have decided to write some tips, for posterity’s sake. You can make the most annoying website in the whole World Wide Web. Here is a quick guide that will tell you how:
1. Choose an HTML generator software program. Don not be creative and do not make your own web pages. The more needless HTML code it adds in your web page, the better. Readers will realize it and confirm it by looking at your page’s source code. And what is more, you might even attract hackers too.
2. The fancier the background, the better. Highly contrasting images are good. You should also have your text color with the similar tint. That way it blends with the background, making your paragraphs unreadable.
3. Background music to drive your visitors crazy. And make sure that it loops over and over for maximum satisfaction. Do not worry if it tends to make your website loads slowly too.
4. Content and texts. Do not cut your content into bite size pieces – give it to them in one whopping serving! The most annoying websites are marked by the total lack of organization. It is also nice annoying practice to waste your visitor’s time by making them read unrelated, unusable and insignificant ramblings. Some scattering of grammar and spelling goofs would also do wonders for your website.
5. Put in tons of fancy stuff. Java applets, scripts, pop-ups, mouse effects and animated gifs – put it all in there. Your visitors would love all those popping, jumping, vibrating distractions; you do not have good content anyway. Again, do not worry if it these makes your site crawl every more slowly.
6. Images. It is okay to use a 10Mb-sized image in your web site; it is your visitor’s fault that he does not have a nifty (and expensive) computer anyway. Broken and incorrectly displayed images are quite annoying too.
7. Links. If you fail to put everything in one page as instructed in number four, then you are obligated to make some links and navigation keys. But you do not need to check if they go somewhere. The most annoying websites always have at least one or two links that go nowhere – or better yet to the ‘webpage not found’ error. That is cool too.
8. Last but not the least, load on the ads! If there is one thing that automatically makes people annoyed, it is ads. Put a lot of them in your web page. Better yet, put a lot of them using pop-up and alarm windows. Current most annoying website in the Internet has 150 of them so make sure you have these too.